James Bond squints a little

[rosebaby3892]

The man in white is greeted by a henchman who serves him a strawberry milkshake (bad guys like their drinks at their height), before the two begin to chat.

“Hello, Señor Sciarra. Welcome to Mexico City. Would you like something to eat? ” “No, I got a taco downstairs. ” “A taco… and you wear white? Madre de Dios! You have to… ” “Wait, kiddo. I remind you that we’re here to talk very loudly about our super-secret plans. ” “Oh, yeah, sorry. Shall we go? ” “Yes. SO, HOW’S THE PLAN GOING? ” “WONDERFUL! EVERYTHING’S IN PLACE! BY THE buy phone number list WAY, DO WE STILL HAVE TO START OUR SUPER-VILLAIN ACTION TONIGHT AT 6 PM AT 22 SHAKIRA AVENUE? ” “CERTAINLY! I HOPE YOU HAVE THE MATERIALS PREPARED WELL! ” “YES! EVERYTHING’S READY!” AND WILL BE FINE, UNLESS SOMEONE COMES TO LISTEN TO US, RIGHT NOW!”




Either he's concentrating, or he's also noticed that the dialogue has barely begun and is already appalling.

In doubt, he prepares to shoot Mr. Sciarra, just to prevent him from committing his heinous crime (which consists of going to write Hunger Games fanfiction and distributing them, monster!). But of course, just as James is about to pull the trigger, he is spotted by all the local guards who until now have been quietly picking their noses, but then, bang, they all look in the right direction at the same time ("  My shitty guard sense is tingling!   "). James must therefore shoot them down, then in the ensuing exchange of fire, causes a huge explosion (there is always something that explodes in the area, otherwise it lacks spectacle; here, for example, it's a reserve of hot sauce). The whole neighborhood consequently begins to collapse as the facades fall on top of each other, and James himself finds himself almost buried before managing to escape with just a little dust on his suit.

Which is perfectly normal. His outfit is probably made of braided uranium, a fabric well-known to security professionals, since not only is it durable, but it also shines, allowing you to, for example, ride your bike at night with ease. Excellent choice, James.

But I digress, because another thief has miraculously escaped all this – or a rotten script, who knows – and you guessed it was a certain… Marco Sciarra! As soon as our two urchins' eyes met, they  started a chase through the middle of the neighborhood where people fled while police cars rushed by, at least for about two seconds because then they turned into a street and poof, they found themselves on a perfectly calm avenue where no one cared about the explosions, screams, and collapsing buildings, not even the police. The apocalypse is so old. James more or less discreetly tails Sciarra (the police don't even notice that the man has blood on his face when he passes in front of the security cordons), who ends up bursting into the local Grand Place, where a helicopter arrives: Sciarra has called enough to escape in peace.